Just
by chance first thing in the morning, the day of the workshop about
our new church and community facility, I read this from among my
emails:
Space
for Change to Take Place
Hospitality
means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can
enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to
change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.
It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer
freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. It is not to lead our
neighbour into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to
open a wide spectrum of options for choice and commitment.1
There
was a buzz when I read this at the start of the workshop. It was
like we are saying, “Yes, this is what we are on about; this is
what we want to create.” But the test is achieving it – not just
having the good intentions, feeling we are welcoming, but others
experiencing us and our place as such.
The
main problem with the traditional church, as I've known over my years
on this good earth, is that we've fitted on the “not to” side of
this list of comparisons. Whatever has been intended, that's not how
it's been perceived.
As
a particular church, this parish has been pretty good at having
“fluid edges”, opening our buildings to use by a broad range of
people and having a reputation for not coming on strong with
religious language. In parishes I've been part of there's usually
been quite a number of “Friends of the Church”, people who
support good work we do (including financially), people who are
completely comfortable coming to our buildings for their own use.
But
there are still plenty of others who feel more comfortable keeping
away. It's safer, they reckon. For some it's a case of “once
bitten, twice shy”; for many there is simply the expectation of
judgment and pressure to change, of conformity and losing freedom to
be who they are.
This
is not to say that God, Jesus, or some spiritual understanding are
not part of their lives. Often something like this is, but they don't
think a church could connect with them and help them spiritually. A
bit like Alice Walker has her character Shug say:
"Tell
the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just
found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.”
What
Shug says next is a pointer for our purpose:
“Any
God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the
other folks did too. They come to church to share God,
not find God."2
In
the early 1970's St John's Uniting Church in Kensington, Whangarei,
presented a brief to their architects that said, build a building so
the community can share it with us. St John's Church Centre opens
into a foyer large enough for gathering and hospitality. The layout
makes it easy for people to go to events in different areas and the
worship area is great for concerts. (I can vouch for the acoustics
after rehearsing there for a combined Whangarei Choral Society/BOI
Singers concert.) A Child Care Centre was an early tenant, until it
grew to need a separate building on another part of the property. A
Community House “One Double Five”, housing community development,
law, and youth services, is alongside on Methodist Mission land.
There's
so much in common here with us and what we've been planning for the
last five years and more. Progress is slow on the physical side of
things and that can be frustrating. And worrying because we don't
yet know the costs and how it will all fit our budgets. However,
maybe it is giving us time to work on the non-physical side: to
broaden our understanding of others, develop warmth and open hearts
for strangers and people who behave differently, and share our faith
simply by offering a space that will allow God's spirit to work in
people however is right for them.
We're
already on the way towards this. Many comments collected at the
workshop point towards genuine hospitality as our driving force. We
want to offer it – offer
space for change to take place. We're learning how to recognise if
it's just good intentions on our part and us in effect still doing
the same old, same old line of “church has what's good for”.
We
can open ourselves up as a congregation to create a space –
physical space and spiritual space – where others quickly feel at
ease to explore and make themselves at home. If we do, I know we
will grow.
With
the challenging opportunities in front of us for our Kaeo church,
this applies for both congregations.
God
bless our Home!
Shalom,
Robyn
If
you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother
Theresa
1From
Reaching Out
by Henri Nouwen
