Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Awhi atu awhi mai

Being church and being caring people – those two surely go together.
A common reason for being part of church is the caring for one another and for others. We all have something going on that means we value a little bit, or a big bit, of TLC. Lately it's seemed even more in focus, with the effects of age and various illnesses affecting quite a number in our parish family.
How does one care well for one another? What makes for good pastoral care, that is the question.
And it's a very important question. Because we don't want the environment that goes with the old adage about “do-gooders”: you can spot a “do-gooder” by the hunted look on those he or she is doing good for!
Pastoral care” is the church's own special term. It's genuinely “pastoral” being connected in meaning with the essence of being a good shepherd, which some of us know in literal terms and all of us can imagine. Psalm 23 gives a good run-down: providing for, pointing in the right direction, sheltering, supporting, helping celebrate the positives, just being there.
A shepherd tends the flock, attends to their needs, which in turn is done by paying attention.
That is surely the key to caring well for others and not being more of a nuisance than a support.
Back with the shepherd: perhaps you can produce a so-so flock of sheep by following a set routine of food provision and disease protection. Okay maybe, but probably not if there's a really bad drought and you're not noticing that the grass is running out before the set time. The good farmer is attentive to what's actually happening adjusting provision and care accordingly. A no brainer as they say.
Likewise caring for a friend who is unwell. We need to be attentive to what is happening and therefore sensitive to what will really be caring for our friend. Each person is different and the more we know a person, the more we get to sense what they will appreciate. And we can ask. Simply ask: what would be helpful, what could we do to show that we care.
This is definitely a two-way thing: caring is not something I do to another person, but is the particular character of the relationship between us when we are giving support one to the other. A two-way thing means it works best when we communicate, when we are enabled to say honestly what helps and what doesn't.
When we're really sick, we are allowed to ask not to be disturbed. Many, many times I've shared a particular thought with someone whose illness is terminal and they've settled in at home where family can care for them and friends can visit. You don't have to be the gracious host – to stay alert or keep a conversation going when you don't want to. You are allowed to close your eyes, which can be a gentle hint that it is time for the visit to end. There are some rules of thumb I use for visiting like this, in particular keeping it short. The main thing is to ask, to sound the person out on what is best for them, let them be open about it, and thereby let them stay in control of something when a lot else isn't in their control any more.
I think it's similar when recovering from illness. You don't have to be the gracious host, meaning you don't have to answer the door, or the telephone, if what you need right at that moment is to rest. All friends ask of you is that you give good hints of what helps – what helps you know you're not alone in your feeling miserable
Two sides to the relationship called caring. Awhi atu awhi mai.

Shalom, Robyn

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Looking to the future together

Ngā mihi nui ki a koutou katoa o te parihi o Kaeo-Kerikeri Union, o ngā hāpori o Whangaroa me Kerikeri hoki.
The prospect of continuing on as your minister has got me pondering seriously, as well as revelling in the delight of being able to stay. It's good not to have to start again. But I know there need to be new starts here, and important changes for us to make to ensure we are a sustainable mission venture. I will definitely not be cruising to retirement!
When we left Methven nearly ten years ago, I didn't want to leave, but parishes have often felt it best to have a change of minister. Some in the parish would be ready for change even if others would rather not.
Five years ago at the first extension of my appointment I imagined getting to this point in time and knowing it would be best to move on. Even though we wouldn't want to leave and many strong relationships in parish and community would have been built up, it would be right to go. It would save the debate and the awkwardness, the mixed feelings with some wanting me to stay and some ready for a change. And, if the wider community really wanted me to stay, my choosing to go could save the “bad look” of the parish saying “no”.
Of course, five years ago I imagined that the new facility in Kerikeri would be completed and bedded in as a great community venue and home for our services.
Because that hadn't happened, the circumstances required a rethink. Hence my first expressing some time back in the privacy of church meetings a commitment to stay on for the long haul, if I was wanted. As we looked at the challenges of both the finances and the need to break new ground in the kind of facility we were building, it seemed only fair to commit to the hard work of making it work.
The decision to stay on – and for the parish to keep me on – until 2019 therefore needs to be a catalyst to re-think expectations. In some ways it needs to be as if a new minister were starting. There's benefit in the fact that we've got to know each other pretty well, and we can build on what seems to me a good level of trust and shared vision, so it's much easier than starting totally afresh.
The biggest risk is that we expect only continuation of what we are familiar with.
These extra years are our chance to find the way to turn into congregations that are viable for the long term. We are not competing with other churches who attract the numbers to belonging and believing. If that's what we were, we would be best to heed Jesus' call to unity and merge with them. We remain a separate strand in the fabric because we can offer the gospel where it's not getting to now.
Our viability depends on our point of difference as a church: connecting in a unique way to people outside the walls of traditional church.
Traditional church is a group of members who meet together, pray, sing, and socialise together, and care for one another and for others. Many reading this have long experienced church like this and find it very important in their lives.
When we see church only in this way, there is a real concern that, unless we get more to join the group, our aging church family will get smaller and smaller and eventually die away. The only known option to survival therefore seems to be to get more members of the group.
Now, I didn't say “club”, but that is one of the dangers of seeing church only in this way. It is what we have inherited from the years in the mid 20th century when church was a social success, before it became just one among many social activities of choice.
Now the world is different. Church can be caring family AND it can reclaim what it is supposed to be – disciples (followers) of Jesus working together on what he started. For the church to survive it must, before all else, stay true to its mission of being Christ for the world around it.
Be the body of Christ first and later we'll find ourselves needing to count the numbers who want to connect to the body (to make sure there is room for them).
My challenge to us is to be a warm and caring body of people whose “welcome” means two things: feel free to join in with who we are and what we do together AND make yourself at home at our place, make our place your place.
If our life together is such that we offer space for people to grow, regardless of creed or culture or anything else that usually divides us, then people will want to join in.
In the words of Sir Hemi (James) Henare of Otiria:
Tāwhiti rawa tōu haerenga ake te kore haere tonu. Nui rawa ōu mahi te kore mahi nui tonu.
We have come too far not to go further. We have done too much not to do more.

Shalom, Robyn

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Standing with our Whanaunga

On Sunday 7 July Kaeo congregation relocated for the day to the Te Ngaere Marae of Ngāitūpango. The Waitangi Tribunal was due to arrive in the afternoon to spend the week hearing evidence from Whangaroa Hapū. Te Ngaere is an important place in Whangaroa history, as for all of Ngā Puhi. It is remembered as the place of the first Whakaminenga (assembly) of the rangatira of the north, who gathered in response to the European newcomers so that they could strategise about how best to relate to them and get mutual benefit. Their deliberations were the basis for a number of communications, including meetings, with the Crown, as they sought to work directly as local sovereigns with the newcomers' sovereign in England.
In the morning, prior to the tribunal's arrival, all the supporting people of Ngā Puhi – Ngā Puhi Nui Tonu – were welcomed by the home people of Ngāitūpango. Our church congregation chose to be there because the Whangaroa hapū are our own people. We stand with them as their relations.
As I sat in the morning powhiri listening to the speeches of a number of people I now think of as friends, I was thinking of words I might have used to convey the greetings and love that we of Wesleydale Church brought, just by being there. The spirit of whanaungatanga, of being one people before the Creator (however we name the source of all that is) – that's what I carried in my mind and heart throughout that day and each time I was able to sit and listen at the Tribunal Hearing.
My thoughts began with the creator, which is where Māori whaikorero regularly begins.
He hōnore, he korōria ki te Atua, he maungorongo ki te whenua, he whakaaro pai ki ngā tāngata katoa.
Ko te mihi tuatahi ki te Atua Kaha Rawa, ki a Io, Io Matua Kore. Ko ia te Kaihanga o te ao me te pō, te Matua i mua i tōna mata he iwi kotahi tātou.
The purpose of the Tribunal hearing goes deep for our Whangaroa people – he kaupapa nui tēnei. Nō reira – therefore, our presence was one small way of acknowledging that, and of expressing our wish to be alongside as they took courage to speak of past and future, of pain and aspiration. Rural ministry has shown me that the only way to deal with hurt and loss is to face it, to bear to sit with it, and together work for a new season to come. It's also taught me the power and empowerment of solidarity.
I tae mai rā mātou mō te kaupapa hōhonu nei ki te tū kei taha i ō mātou whanaunga, ngā hapū o Whangaroa. E ngā whanaunga, e hoa, e hiahia ana mātou ki te awhi, ki te tautoko i tērā rā powhiri, i ngā rā e rima o te wiki Taraipiūnara, i ngā wā hoki e whai ake nei.
He wā ki te kōrero nei. He wā ki te whakarongo. Nō reira, tō mātou mahi ki te whakarongo. Ōku whakaaro, tōku titiro, e hia kē nei ngā hua nō tēnei kaupapa whakarongo, mō te oranga hei te iwi, mō te oranga hei te motu, te iwi me te tauiwi ngā tahi.
Na, anō te pai, anō te ahuareka o te nohoanga o ngā teina o ngā tuakana i runga i te whakaaro kotahi. (Psalm 133:1)
Through listening and continuing to listen to our Whangaroa relations, I've gained a glimpse of a future I hadn't dreamed of until now: well-being and livelihood on the land for people who belong there, who want to live on and with the land. And finding a way to this without adding injustice to what has already been an overdose of injustice.
If you are wondering how, take a listen to people of Whangaroa hapū. “Hearing people to speech” is something we can all do for those around us, just as we need to do for those dear to us. It's what relationship is about.
And if you are wondering why this “Rambling” has parts that not everyone will understand (some of you will say that is always the case when Robyn gets going!), the fact is that this newsletter goes out for all who are interested in our parish and community, and a number of them are first language Māori speakers. By only writing in English we perpetuate the situation in which part of our community is kept invisible. Its voice (reo) is kept silent.
Big apologies though to those for whom the reo is your reo: apologies for my faltering attempts to communicate with you. I think I understand when kaumatua friends apologise for their English, knowing that things that matter are spoken most clearly in the first language. Yet they persist, because it's important to do what we can to communicate one to another. I want to give that a go too.
Shalom, Robyn
Forgiveness means that I continually am willing to forgive the other person for not being God--for not fulfilling all my needs. I, too, must ask forgiveness for not being able to fulfill other people's needs.... When you forgive people for not being God, then you can celebrate that they are a reflection of God.                                                                                                    Henri Nouwen

Space for Change to Take Place

This is a bit of a re-ramble, as it's time to focus our vision again for the new facility in Kerikeri.
As our church website puts it:
Our decision to build is based on the belief that this can be a facility for the whole community.  The Kerikeri Union church congregation will, through regular worship and activities, provide heart and warmth for the building, but the vision is that it be the community's building.
When it came to decision time, when we saw the figures and how much had changed since we began five years ago, I know many felt it a daunting prospect: to spend all that money; to do something that cannot just be a reproduction of what we had before... For to be viable financially and in terms of being an effective mission operation in the local community, the new facility has to be utilised every day of the week. As the website says:
Our site at 144 Kerikeri Road beside the Heritage Bypass offers an exciting opportunity to build a church and community facility that will be both a hive of human activity and an oasis for reflection and spiritual uplift.
Can we do it? I believe we can, but I know we'll keep asking this question, because it is no automatic process “build the building and it will just happen”.
Peter MacKenzie, Executive Officer for our union parishes umbrella group, visited early this year and heard about our plans. He said that if it is to be a facility truly for the community, the community needs to share in its development. User groups and other community groups were consulted at the beginning of the project to assist with the brief for the design. Past user-groups are first on the contact list for joining us in the new building. But we can't just build and expect all to come. We need to convey a sense that it is their building not just ours.
We talked about this at a workshop in June last year where the quotation from Henri Nouwen alongside captured our attention. It is so easy to slip back into old habits, thinking that we are being hospitable because we say “everyone welcome”, and we do want people to come and join us (and be like us) and make our group bigger.
The vision for our facility doesn't preclude people coming and joining our church congregation or becoming part of the work we are doing as a church in our community. But that's not so much the focus as the likely flow-on effect. Like collateral benefit from us being people who are open and accepting and, before all else, offering a space for growth in personal and communal well-being.
Building the kingdom” means, for us, providing the space in which kingdom values – lives shaped by the Master Jesus – will flourish.
Go make disciples” means doing our bit to help God's spirit grow in people's hearts and minds. It's like we tend and care for the soil – a living, life-giving space – in which seeds can sprout and thrive.
I think of the new facility as community space where those who use it feel at home: space where people can be themselves, where things are happening, whether church-based or in other groups, that help people grow and develop in body, mind, and spirit.
It means a place which is common ground for all present, where the common good is at centre stage.
That is, not a church building that we let the community use, but a community building for which we act as kaitiaki. The church congregation will take responsibility to ensure the facility has a safe and welcoming spirit, as well as to maintain its physical environment and manage its shared use.
One other thing struck me as we made our formal decision on plans and the money. Our temporary accommodation has proved to be ideal to our current needs and for many who live in the vicinity it is very convenient. However the decision involved not just thinking about now, or the next few years. Here's how I've expressed my gratitude to the congregation for their future-directed, community-facing (and Christ-centred) decision:
Thank you especially to older members of the Kerikeri congregation, for whom the regular life of worship in the Ted Robinson Chapel is just ideal and could be seen as enough for your lifetime. The new facility is a vision that younger generations in the congregation are already very excited about. On behalf of the younger ones in your midst, thank you for being willing to be bold for the sake the future!
Shalom, Robyn
May 2013
Space for Change to Take Place
Hospitality means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. It is not to lead our neighbour into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to open a wide spectrum of options for choice and commitment.

Source: Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen

Sunday, April 7, 2013

To be People of Friendship and Reconciliation


Our parish had a visitor in mid-February, a visitor with an eye for parish potential and an understanding of our kind of context. The Rev Elizabeth Mansill was here to conduct my Ministry Development Review, a process adopted by the Presbyterian Church to ensure ministers remain worthy of their Certificate of Good Standing. It also assists minister and parish in developing the minister's gifts in a way that is responsive to the particular parish context.
This was my second review so Elizabeth built on observations of three years ago. This time she came up with two very interesting general themes.
Firstly, she noted that our congregations comprise people who are leaders. Not just “pew sitters” but people living the Christian life in a way that is effectively Christian leadership within their families and community. In my words, you are all ministers; I am minister to the ministers.
In years past, Elizabeth noted, things were different. Now, with Sunday just another day of the week, those who continue to participate in church (or even to stay connected through a newsletter like this) are the ones with real commitment to what the gospel is about. Elizabeth encourages me to continue helping you recognise what you are doing in your lives as gospel work. Also to help you develop gifts you haven't thought you had and maybe even interests you'd never dream of having.
Dare I say it, she says that I need to aim at “doing myself out of a job”. In part that is because no minister stays forever. In part the future will likely bring changes we don't yet envisage.
The second theme is Māori-Pākehā relationships. This, says Elizabeth, is an important mission for our future, as a point of difference and a set of relationships and skills to build on. And she was not just talking about Kaeo. I quizzed her on that, but she was very clear that it was both congregations she perceived as having this mission of building understanding and reconciliation between Pākehā and Māori. And there are things she recommends I do to help this be not just my thing, but part of the parish identity.
She encourages me to take people with me when I go to Māori related events. I will be delighted to have company, so please let me know if you are interested. Like an invitation I made some time back (and keep meaning to renew) to come with me to Bible-in-Schools, at Riverview on a Friday morning or Kaeo on a Tuesday afternoon, just to listen in and spend some time with 10 and 11 year olds. So also the invitation is now open, to come with me to a tangi, to attend a community hui to help our young people, or to join the monthly service with the elderly folks at Kauri Lodge. In each case people would see it as great community support.
Another suggestion of Elizabeth's is to bring into worship other voices besides my own to lead te reo portions. I can vouch for the benefit of having had somewhere to practice speaking Māori in public. It means now that I can lead tangi services in a way that seems to be much appreciated by families and marae communities. And it means the kids at College don't laugh at my pronunciation like they used to. Getting School Cert by correspondence in Mid-Canterbury was only the precursor to the real learning here. I say a big thank you to the Kaeo congregation who have allowed this to happen over these years. The Kerikeri congregation too, although I suspect some have other views and we need to talk about it. Kerikeri is a town that looks so different from the rest of Northland and we're more inclined to be mono-cultural. I really am thrilled with the ability of many sharing the grace at the end of the service, and the enthusiasm of some who would like to learn it off by heart. But the old Latin adage holds: festina lente – hasten slowly.
In any case, I suspect there are more ways than these that our parish could claim for ourselves this theme that Elizabeth identifies. Relationships between Māori and Pākehā are an undeniable part of life in Northland. Maybe we as a parish could make a difference. Centred in Christ, we have the means to do it, to dig away at dividing walls between people and open up understanding and respect, without which the phrase “he iwi tātou – we are one people” doesn't yet apply. Maybe this is our unique calling.
What ideas do you have for us to be a parish of friendship and reconciliation?
And more generally, what leadership in the Christian Way do you want to claim as your unique calling as a follower of Christ?
Shalom, Robyn
POSTSCRIPT: I appreciated Diane's company when I went to listen to Whangaroa presentations to the Waitangi Tribunal. Our Whangaroa people did us proud and it was important for some of their Pākehā friends to be there. With a Māori parishioner on each side of me it was a moving moment when Nuki Aldridge said: “We acknowledge that this land now has two peoples – Māori and Pākehā – Pākehā being the people who came later to these shores and stayed here with our people. This we cannot change, nor do we wish to change it.”  

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Hearing to Speech


In 2010 voices were heard in Northland that broke a drought. It was a drought of understanding about our past and the new rains promise new growth in well-being and peace.
On 28 November 2012 a text was released that shares these voices with many more than first heard them at the Waitangi Tribunal Hearings. Ngāpuhi Speaks1 is the Independent Report on the Ngāpuhi Nui Tonu Claim heard before the Tribunal in 2010. It wasn't quite the United Nations Independent Observers Ngāpuhi had wanted, but it was next best with a panel of observers, Pākehā and Māori who sat and listened, and then compiled their report for all to read.
No longer voiceless are people from the turn of the 19th century, who participated in the signing of the documents that first set out New Zealand's (Nu Tireni's) place in the world and its relationships with other nations. No longer hidden from the rest of us is the context and progression that led to Te Tiriti, the document we hear about most. Or rather we hear about The Treaty, a different document, and that is a big part of the story. Te Tiriti was the only document signed at Waitangi on 6 February 1840.
Reading Ngāpuhi Speaks was like an epiphany2 to me, an amazing eye-opener that had me saying repeatedly, “Ah, now I understand; now I see what the argument is.” As with other histories there was at times grief for what was lost, what could have been, and what industrialised, capital-based Europe meeting Nu Tireni led to for the residents of this land. But with this book something was different. Histories to this point have been largely confined to the thoughts and actions of Europeans and governments, because that was all that was known. In this report we are presented with the thoughts and actions of the rangatira (chiefs) of Ngāpuhi, the people with whom the first arrivals conversed, traded, and negotiated. Ngāpuhi Speaks is not about victims and grievances: it is a narrative of agency, in which the vision and strategic decisions of the collective of chiefs in the north becomes clear. Clear too their purpose throughout of being responsible leaders answerable to their people.
The narrative has been handed down to the rangatira's descendants, who continue to live in this place and carry the mana of their tūpuna (forebears). It begins with initiatives taken in response to the first newcomers in the late 1700s: trade on site in New Zealand led to journeys by rangatira across the Tasman and then around the world, for the purpose of negotiating with the chiefs of these other lands to develop understanding and trade. Among the journeys was that of Hongi and Waikato to England in 1820 to meet the British rangatira, George IV. This visit is seen as setting the foundation for friendship and partnership, continued with George's successors.
Hongi and Waikato went not just on their own account, but on behalf of the confederation of rangitira in this area that had gathered regularly from 1808 on, if not earlier. Te Whakaminenga (Assembly) o Ngā Hapū o Nu Tireni was their means to discuss issues related to the newcomers – dealing with problems and utilising benefits – for the health and prosperity of the region and as autonomous hapū leaders collaborating and presenting a combined face to the international scene. This was the group that wrote to King William in 1831 seeking help to get international recognition for a Nu Tireni flag, after a Māori ship and cargo had been seized in Sydney for having no flag. This was the group which, with input from James Busby, James Clendon, and Henry Williams, drew up and signed He Whakaputanga, a declaration of their sovereign power in the land. And this was the group who were the basis for deliberations that led to the drafting of Te Tiriti and signing of the agreed Te Reo document on 06.02.1840. Te Tiriti was for them just another step in the relationship that began with King George. With the Declaration (Whakaputanga) of 1835 still in place, they saw the document Henry Williams presented to them as their agreement for the Queen's kāwana (governor) to have governor-ship over the newcomers and the portions of land granted for their use. The kāwana would be like another rangatira alongside them, and they would work together in all things.
Some readers of this might be thinking: “well, that's just one side of the matter.” Exactly. It is the side that has been missing, lost in silence. Let's hear it to full speech, for the good of us all.
Shalom, Robyn

1Ngāpuhi Speaks: He Wakaputanga and te Tiriti o Waitangi Independent Report on Ngāpuhi Nui Tonu Claim, commissioned on behalf of the Kuia and Kaumātua of Ngāpuhi Nui Tonu, Te Kawariki & Network Waitangi Whangarei, 2012. Copies can be ordered from PO Box 417, Whangarei 0147, 09 4361807 or reotahi@clear.net.nz $30 plus $5 p&p.
2See 6 January service on the website for the significance of this word “epiphany”.