Friday, June 22, 2012

Hospitality


Just by chance first thing in the morning, the day of the workshop about our new church and community facility, I read this from among my emails:
Space for Change to Take Place
Hospitality means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. It is not to lead our neighbour into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to open a wide spectrum of options for choice and commitment.1
There was a buzz when I read this at the start of the workshop. It was like we are saying, “Yes, this is what we are on about; this is what we want to create.” But the test is achieving it – not just having the good intentions, feeling we are welcoming, but others experiencing us and our place as such.
The main problem with the traditional church, as I've known over my years on this good earth, is that we've fitted on the “not to” side of this list of comparisons. Whatever has been intended, that's not how it's been perceived.
As a particular church, this parish has been pretty good at having “fluid edges”, opening our buildings to use by a broad range of people and having a reputation for not coming on strong with religious language. In parishes I've been part of there's usually been quite a number of “Friends of the Church”, people who support good work we do (including financially), people who are completely comfortable coming to our buildings for their own use.
But there are still plenty of others who feel more comfortable keeping away. It's safer, they reckon. For some it's a case of “once bitten, twice shy”; for many there is simply the expectation of judgment and pressure to change, of conformity and losing freedom to be who they are.
This is not to say that God, Jesus, or some spiritual understanding are not part of their lives. Often something like this is, but they don't think a church could connect with them and help them spiritually. A bit like Alice Walker has her character Shug say:
"Tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.”
What Shug says next is a pointer for our purpose:
Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God."2
In the early 1970's St John's Uniting Church in Kensington, Whangarei, presented a brief to their architects that said, build a building so the community can share it with us. St John's Church Centre opens into a foyer large enough for gathering and hospitality. The layout makes it easy for people to go to events in different areas and the worship area is great for concerts. (I can vouch for the acoustics after rehearsing there for a combined Whangarei Choral Society/BOI Singers concert.) A Child Care Centre was an early tenant, until it grew to need a separate building on another part of the property. A Community House “One Double Five”, housing community development, law, and youth services, is alongside on Methodist Mission land.
There's so much in common here with us and what we've been planning for the last five years and more. Progress is slow on the physical side of things and that can be frustrating. And worrying because we don't yet know the costs and how it will all fit our budgets. However, maybe it is giving us time to work on the non-physical side: to broaden our understanding of others, develop warmth and open hearts for strangers and people who behave differently, and share our faith simply by offering a space that will allow God's spirit to work in people however is right for them.
We're already on the way towards this. Many comments collected at the workshop point towards genuine hospitality as our driving force. We want to offer it – offer space for change to take place. We're learning how to recognise if it's just good intentions on our part and us in effect still doing the same old, same old line of “church has what's good for”.
We can open ourselves up as a congregation to create a space – physical space and spiritual space – where others quickly feel at ease to explore and make themselves at home. If we do, I know we will grow.
With the challenging opportunities in front of us for our Kaeo church, this applies for both congregations.
God bless our Home!
Shalom, Robyn
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.         Mother Theresa
1From Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen
2From The Color Purple by Alice Walker

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